THE ROBERT W. WHITAKER ARCHIVE

archives
articles

I MAKE A MIGHTY REVELATION UNTO YOU | 2003-10-04

Like everybody who has read the Old Testament a lot, I now know everything about everything. I know True Evolution, I can tell doctors how to practice medicine, I know True Physics, all of it.

But since I am a busy man and my business is politics, I will only tell you all about that.

For instance, I can tell you the true reason the Middle East is in turmoil. Here it is

Moslems don't eat pork. Israelis don't eat pork.

When a person is deprived of pork chops or Maurice Bessinger's pork bar-be-cue, he becomes irritable. Then he becomes violent.

That's how Yankees got that way.

There is a whole segment of the Planet Earth where people completely deny themselves pig meat. That area is in a constant state of violent and bloody conflict.

You take away my pork chops and you too will be in a state of violent and bloody conflict.

Now that I have explained this, I expect a Nobel Prize by return post.