THE ROBERT W. WHITAKER ARCHIVE

THE CIA IS A JUNIOR BRANCH OF THE KEYSTONE COPS | 2004-08-28

In 1960s every pencil necked hippie told me that the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) had him under constant surveillance.

Right-wingers tell me that the CIA knows all.

Every country in the world thinks the CIA is behind everything that happens, including thunderstorms. Everything that happens is a result some operation by the geniuses who run this superefficient, tightly-coordinated organization. Everything is a "CIA operation."

If you ever saw a real "CIA operation" all your illusions would disappear.

The CIA is a Top Secret organization. Every bureaucracy bungles. But Top Secret is a license to bungle. Every group of bureaucrats will use any excuse to cover up the fact that they have no idea what they are doing. With Top Secret, they don't have to look for an excuse. They just look Wise and Secretive and everybody goes away.

I'll let you in on a little secret: for every one time Top Secret keeps anybody from knowing something they ought not to know, there are a hundred times when it lets bumblers, toadies and incompetents climb up the ladder to the top.

You may think I am telling you that "top security experts" are a bunch of complete morons. If so, you understand the point I am making.