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WORSHIPPING EXPERTS | 2002-06-01

As you know, I have a hard time doing what respectable conservatives do best. What respectables do best is to worship anybody in a uniform or anybody in Intelligence.

Liberals do exactly the same job of falling on their tummies when they worship liberal idols. So when the teachers' unions report another major failure, they just get that "I'm a Professional" look on their face and liberals demand that we give them more money to waste.

When experts are talking about how they have failed -- AGAIN -- exactly the same thing happens with liberals and conservatives. The experts they worship will differ, but the scenario is an exact repeat.

So when a group of conservatives asks why the intelligence services have failed - AGAIN - to come through - the Security Hero gets a pained expression on his face and explains to these poor, silly amateurs that all this is very complicated stuff and he is out there in the field and he is the big expert and what in the hell are they doing criticizing all those Heroic Experts.

And when a group of liberals asks why social services have failed - AGAIN -- the Professor or teacher's union rep gets a pained expression on his face and explains to these poor, silly amateurs that all this is very complicated stuff and he is out there in the field and he is the big expert and what in the hell are they doing criticizing all those Heroic Experts.

Whenever any security expert is interviewed about the total failures of our intelligence, he gets that self-righteous, pained look on his face. The Tough Guy Expert explains that the only reason we expect intelligence to come up with anything is because we are not Great Professionals like he is.

We are all civilian wimps while this guy is a Big Pro. He may not be able to warn us about anything we need to know about, but he is a Brave, Tough, Big Man, and we are a bunch of ignoramuses.